While some women have a healthy sexual appetite and look forward to making love, others have an aversion for it, and this may be fast ripping their relationship apart. Find 5 common factors that may be responsible and what to do…
1. Sex hurts. If you always find intercourse painful, you will likely develop an aversion for it over time. The first step to resolving this is to identify why you experience pain during intercourse. A variety of reasons including insufficient lubrication, medical conditions such as uterine fibroids and haemorrhoids, UTIs and STDs, and so on, may be responsible.
2. Sexual abuse. Psychological trauma as a result of rape, molestation or other forms of sexual abuse, whether as a child or an adult, is also a very common reason some women may find it difficult to connect sexually with their spouses, find their touch repulsive or hate and avoid making love altogether.
If you were a victim of sexual abuse, in a toxic marriage or undergoing some emotional issues in your marriage, with family or in-laws, at work or other areas of your life that keep you constantly disturbed, opening up or seeking professional counselling may help you heal and start making gradual progress towards having a pleasurable and fun sexual relationship you love.
3. Sex is just a boring routine. Perhaps you don’t look forward to making love and loathe the process altogether because your spouse is the quite traditional type. So, lovemaking is usually just a marital obligation carried out when your spouse demands it, lacking any iota of romance. You may hate this even more if you always find yourself comparing what you have to what you think is ideal.
In this case, it’s important to discuss your sex life comprehensively with your spouse, highlighting what turns each of you off and on. You should also both figure out adventurous ways to ignite the passion and communicate your needs while at it.
4. You no longer find your spouse sexually attractive. Unfortunately, this is the reality of some married couples. Perhaps your husband’s well toned muscles have turned flabby and his flat abs have since disappeared, leaving a pot belly you find so irritating. On the other hand, your once hot self may have lost the curves and alluring fitness that once made you feel like an idol, making you less confident about intimacy.
If your spouse’s new look turns you off, discuss it in a very loving way. Figure out ways to achieve needed improvement and encourage them all the way. In the same vein, work on your body to boost your confidence, and remember, accepting your own body and loving it, no matter what, is a huge confidence booster.
5. Your spouse always makes demands you find irritating. Your aversion could also be because your spouse demands stuffs you can’t tolerate or fulfill. It may also be that you find your spouse too demanding (little or no break at all) and you just want to be left alone. This especially rings true for busy women who always feel stressed out due to the daily demands of work as well as caring for the kids and their home.
Whichever of the above it is, discussing with your spouse and reaching a compromise may create some headway and save your sex life from complete ruin.
Photo credit: Dreamstime